Who do you think you are?
by AureaAraniel
Summary: DHm. with plot ch5 The Call of Hunger. UP! 'fear is the thing that gives us our power..... its our strength' What happens when Draco gets the call of hunger, and a potion releases the beast within.
1. Dark Existance

**Who do you think you are?**

Rating: T

Basically a Draco and Hermione story, with a plot.

**Dark Existence**

Man or beast, I'm neither  
Yet of both I am a part  
The beast dwells within my soul  
The man, amongst the ruins of my heart...

The beast so hideous a thing  
The man but an empty shell  
Awaiting salvation that never comes  
Existing in eternal hell...

I long to see the sun again  
As I long for love's embrace  
But just as love can never be mine  
The sun will never warm my face...

Lonely is my dark existence  
I am cursed to roam the night  
Though I feed to quell the hunger  
I am starving for love and light...

_by Elizabeth Camp_

_( Draco)_

**Preface**

I'd never given much thought about how I would die. It had never even crossed my mine, though I'd had reason enough in the last few months, but even if I had, I would never have imagined it like this. Staring, without breathing, into the eyes of the devil himself, as he looked cheerfully back at me.

Surely this must be a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone that I loved. Noble, even. I mean that ought to count for something.

I know that if I had rejected love I wouldn't be facing death now. But as terrified as I am, I can't bring myself to regret that decision. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your wildest expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve, even when it comes to an end.

And with that, He smiled in an almost kind way as he sauntered forward to kill me.

_(Hermione)

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_

Sorry if this is a bit confusing to a few of you. The first part is a poem sort of describing draco's delima, and the second part i hope will tie the beginning with the end. a little bit of forshadowing. ooooooo. well i hope you enjoy the story :-D 


	2. Prologue

**Prologue**

For thousands of years and hundreds of generations, one family has been hiding in the shadows, biding their time for the perfect chance to inflict their evil on the world.. Nearly four thousand years ago, an ancient pharaoh placed a horrible curse on a man and his family for the evil he was letting run rampart across the world.

The family was forced to go into hiding, shunned from the outside world for ages. Only the pharaoh knew the cure, so when he died the cure died along with him, or so many thought. Neither the pharaoh nor the family expected the extreme side effects that went along with the curse. Although this family is cursed for eternity with its gift, its evil lost none of its potency.

These were dark times the pharaoh ruled over, wars ravaged the land, nations turned on one another, and the knowledge of this curse only added to the chaos. The curse was so terrible that none would speak of it in fear of awaking its awesome power. The pharaoh however did not want this curse to be forgotten, so he decided to name a constellation after it so this family would live on in shame for what it had done.

The name of this family became legend, where legend became myth, before it slowly was forgotten forever along with its curse. The name was lost over the rising wars and the falling kings. Slowly the family emerged from its hiding and slowly rose to power.

The curse would come to its fullest extent at the total lunar eclipse, when the moon turned crimson red. All decedents who carried the blood from this evil man, would transform, becoming a reflection of the evil within their souls. Becoming the beast within. The next lunar eclipse comes three months, but our story starts nearly eighteen years ago. After all who would ever care about what the Malfoy's did four thousand years ago. . . . . .

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**Soooo . . . . what do you think? Is it really bad or should I continue?**


	3. ch1 Code of Honor

**Pureblood code of Honor**

Henceforth the Law shall be as follows:

(1) A Pureblood may never kill a fellow pureblood, except in a proper duel

(2)No Pureblood may ever take the side of a muggleborn

(3) No muggleborn may inflict any pain on any Pureblood.

(4) All muggleborns are below Purebloods and should be treated as such

(5) All muggleborns must give way to any passing Pureblood.

(6) muggleborns may never raise their wand at any Pureblood.

(7) No muggleborn may be submitted into any wizarding school, and must learn magic by either a tutor or from books.

(8) muggleborns may never look a Pureblood in the eye unless permission is given. Nor may they touch any Pureblood without permission.

(9) All Purebloods have the power to purchase any muggleborn for any purpose that does not involve marriage.

(10) Purebloods and muggleborns may never marry nor have any kind of relationship what so ever.  
_(A) only in the case of which no suitable pureblood can be found to produce an heir a muggleborn maybe used as a substitute, but the child will be considered a half-blood and can never raise in stature no matter its lineage. _

By the enactment of the Minister of Magic these Laws make up the Pureblood code of Honor. Any pureblood who breaks these laws will be deemed blood traitors. Any muggleborn who breaks these laws shall become the sole property of the Pureblood victim.  
This law is in effect immedantly!

Signed,  
Minister of Magic  
_**Nicholas Pritchard**_

May 10, 859

This Law has been hereby over turned by the Minister of Magic.

Signed,  
Minister of Magic  
_**Godric Gryffindor**_

August 18th, 962

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(A/N: This law will become important later on.)

I DON'T OWN ANYTHING this also goes for later chapters

Aurea :o)


	4. ch2 Of Fear and Loathing

**Chapter 2  
Of fear and Loathing**

Almost seventeen years ago, on a day much like today, a lonely house stood near the edge of a cliff over looking the raging sea. The sea was in an uproar against the tempest clouds which curled and pressed against the desolate sky. The wind howled as it whipped the rain in every direction battering it against the house. The ancient walls moaned with resistance against this increasing determined force, but the proud house would not back down to such a mighty foe.

The pattering rain echoed throughout the quiet house. Only the moaning walls, the pattering rain, and the soft footsteps, which seemed to disappear with the turn of each corner, could be heard throughout this otherwise empty house. It seemed as though a simple heartbeat or breath would wake this sleeping house, from its deep slumber. The air in the house felt like the mood around it: Cold, dark, and with a sense of loneliness. Both owners of the house were gone, miles away, but on different purposes. One was due to a quest for power, and one was in an act of love. Or what should have been an act of love.. . .

.ooo.

The room was pristine. With white floors, white walls and white sheets. The only color in the room was the large wooden door that easily clashed with everything. The room was brightly light from the window and the fluorescent light mounted on the high ceiling. A lone bed rested in the center of this room. In the bed was a pale woman. Her blonde hair was damp and clung to parts of her glistening face, but it was the laughter in her eyes which had brought warmth to the otherwise cold room. This laughter and love was directed at the only other being in the room: The child in her arms.

There was a knock on the large door which disturbed the pristine silence. The door creaked slowly open, from which a head peered around. He had a large round cheeks and a brown, graying mustache t which ends had been curled around into small circles. He had a bald head except for a halo of hair which too, was graying.

"Mrs. Narcissa Malfoy?" said the head.

"Yes?" Replied the blonde woman looking up from her sleeping child with a smile on her face. With the reply the body of the man appeared, which turned out to be a very short fellow. He had on deep blue roabs which looked to be almost to big for his small but stout body.

"I bring news of your husband." he said in a very casual way.

"Yes" Narcissa's attention was now raptured on the man. The man pulled a small note from the inner fold of his pocket, and began to read.

"I regret to inform you that Lucius Malfoy will be unable to make it today." Narcissa's smile began to fade away with each word he spoke. "He sends his best wishes and deepest regards to you. He also wanted me to tell you to name the child Draco, and if it's a girl, he wanted to remind you that Malfoy's have no use for girls." The man whispered a simple spell and the note began to curl in small flames until all that remained was a pile of ash.

"I will take my leave." stated the man, not taking another look at Narcissa.

"Wait. Did he. . . Did he by any chance tell you why he couldn't make it?"

"Certainly ma'am, He said that he needed to make a sudden trip to the ministry to speak with the minister."

Oh,. . . okay, thank you," and with a nod, the man left.

Narcissa knew exactly why Lucius was at the ministry, and she was less then pleased. He was bribing someone. He missed the coming of his child into the new world, for a bribe. He just made her so mad that sometimes she just wanted to fly into a fit of fury, but there was nothing she could do. He basically owned her, oh but how she hated him for it. She loathed him, but yet . . . . she feared him.

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So what do you think? Thank you to everyone who reveiwed, they really help with writing my story. I actually am using one of the ideas and a turning point for the story.

TimeMage0955: im trying to make them longer and the next will be, cuz that when Draco finally comes into the big picture. these first ones are so you get whats going on and get a feel of the characters personality. Like Narcissa is kind and loving (to her son) and Lucius only wants power and will do anything to get there. thanks again for the reviews they're helping me write the story

allie00: Gryffindor DIDNT sign it. He was the one who over turned it. he stopped the law of what was happening to the muggleborns.


	5. ch3 Im Not Here

**Disclaimer:** The lyrics posted below(Im Still Here)belong to John Rzeznik and the Goo Goo Dolls, and I am in no way profieting from using them. They were featured in Disney movie Treasure Planet. if it seems somewhat familar to you.  
Okay well on to the next Chapter: Hope you all enjoy it!

**Chapter 3 **

**I'm Not Here**

This isn't reality. He wasn't sitting in the chair, staring out the window. He wasn't being lectured, yelled at, nor threatened. This can't be reality, he wasn't even there. He was oceans away from reality, on some distant shore, and it was just him, only him.

"Draco! Are you even paying attention?" Draco was suddenly yanked out of his trance. "Stop staring out the window, you've seen the sea hundreds of times, Merlin knows, we live next to it!" Said a man, standing over by a large desk in the center of the room. The man had long blonde hair that was oulled to the back of his neck with a tie.

"Im sorry. I won't do it again next time, I promise." Draco winced inwardly at the sound of his own words, knowing how feeble and pathetic they sounded.

"You'll forgive me Draco if I don't think your promises are worth very much. Promises, excuses– all they are is evasions– evasions of your duties and responsibilities! All you care about is yourself and your own pleasures. You don't think of the consequences of what you do, has on this family.

"That's not true! I've heard it hundreds of times already and I'm tired of listening your useless lectures, just because I'm not you, doesn't make me wrong! You don't know me– you don't know who I am or what I think!" Draco burst out angrily.

_I am a question to the world,  
__Not an answer to be heard.  
__All a moment that's held in your arms.  
__And what do you think you'd ever say?  
__I won't listen anyway…  
You don't know me,  
__And I'll never be what you want, me to be._

"Think?"

Draco should have known better than to try and justify what he had done. His father obviously wasn't listening at all. He'd probably been preparing this little speech of his, for some time now, and he was going to say it no matter what Draco said to him.

"Think?" Lucius repeated. "I don't believe you think at all. You certainly don't act as if you do. Don't you know that people see you – and talk. Don't you know everything that you do reflects on my position? Don't you know that you have a family honor to live up to?

_And what do you think you'd understand?  
I'm a boy, no, I'm a man..  
You can take me and throw me away.  
And how can you learn what's never shown?  
Yeah, you stand here on your own.  
They don't know me 'cause I'm not here._

Every time he tried to talk to his father, it always came back to this: duties, responsibilities, behave like a good little Malfoy and make everything easy for the essential and powerful Lucius! "_It's always the same thing: All he wants to do, is change me._" Draco thought bitterly, but didn't say it. As much as he hated his father, he still feared him, and that fear is what kept him prisoner. Draco felt his attention begin to falter again, and start to shift back to the sea.

"Come now Draco," Lucius said, interrupting the silence. "We best be leaving if we wish to remain on schedule."

"What?" Draco said, the words slipping from of his mouth before he could think. "Where are we going?" He said correcting himself.

"Don't tell me you forgot again."Lucius sighed. "I try and I try, Draco, but you continuously push against me. I spend my long days in thankless labor trying to build for your future and you spend yours attempting to destroy everything I'm working so hard to create! It seems that the harder I push you to be better, the harder you seem to push back! I'm not here to fight you Draco! And as your father, I know what is best for you! Now since your to stupid to remember what it is that we are doing, I shall have to remind you, Again! We are headed to the Ministry to ensure you a suitable job after you graduate, that is as long as you don't manage to muddle things up. And I'm warning you, here and now, boy, that it would be in your best interest not to mess things up." Lucius looked down at his watch. "Well it looks like you have once again thrown us off schedule."

Lucius turned on his heal and strode out of the room. Draco started to follow him but stopped and took one last look back at the constant stormy sea. The relentless sea.

_And I want a moment to be real,  
__Wanna touch things I don't feel,  
__Wanna hold on and feel I belong.  
__And how can the world want me to change,  
__They're the ones that stay the same.  
The don't know me,  
__'Cause I'm not here... _

Draco went down to the entryway to wait for his father. He turned when he heard soft footsteps heading towards him from the parlor. He saw his mother, Narcissa, standing in the doorway, looking perfect like a picture. Just like every Malfoy wife, never less then perfect.

Narcissa walked into the hall and stopped directly in front of her son. She reached up and tucked a loose piece of hair behind his ear and then proceeded to straighten out his robes.

"Mother!" Draco said exasperated, and yet appreciative that someone in his family paid close enough attention to him, to notice the little things.

"My son, all grown up." Narcissa said, laughter reached both of their eyes. Laughter which faded with the severity of the up coming situation, until all that remained was an uncomfortable silence.

"Your Father really is trying to perfect your future. He cares for you, you know." Neither one of them really believed what she said, and knew that she was lying through her teeth.

It wasn't that he really cared for Draco, or for his future for that matter. It was because Lucius couldn't bear the thought of seeming less then perfect: The perfect wizard with the perfect– and perfectly obedient son.

Narcissa sighed, she knew how stubborn both her son and her husband could be. It seemed as though it was always a constant battle between the two of them.

"Just try and listen to your father, for once." Narcissa said, lightly squeezing his shoulder. She headed back towards the parlor but paused at the doorway.

"Draco, I just don't want to see you throw away your entire future." She said softly over her shoulder just before she left. Out of all the Malfoy wives, she was one of the few that truly cared for her son.

"Yeah,. . . . What future. . . ." He said under his breath, looking out the window at the growing fog, over the sea, just as his father walked into the room.

oooo

"Well, are you coming?" Lucius said in a biting tone as he passed Draco, heading out the door. Draco restrained himself from rolling his eyes as he followed his father out of the manor.

Once they reached the front lawn Lucius took out of his pocket, a simple but elegant, silver pen. He offered Draco one side of the pen to hold, which Draco grudeuliy accepted.

With a sudden tug somewhere behind his navel Draco felt himself spiraling out control, in a whirlwind of color and sound. Until suddenly it stopped and he felt his feet slam into the ground. He opened his eyes and saw a familiar statue that he had seen repeatedly throughout his life that it had been burned into his memory. The Fountain of Magic Brethren.

Lucius however wasted no time in viewing his surroundings, and strode to a wooden desk, that was just to the left of the large golden gates, over which hung a sign that said SECURITY.

"Wand," requested the tired looking old wizard. He had tuffs of graying hair that stuck out at odd angles under his pointed hat.

Both Lucius and Draco laid their wands on the metal scales, which began to tick. Once a slinle peice of parchment was produced the old wizard handed it to Lucius and said. " You will need to show this to the security guard." Lucius only replied with a nod, and they were on their way and through the golden gates.

After traveling though a labyrinth of hallways and hidden doors, they finally came to a secluded section of the building. Draco concluded that this was one of the security hallways for significant executives, due to the lack of pictures and difficulty to find. He noticed a person standing near the far end of the hall, one that his father noticed as well.

"Wait here" Lucius said forcefully, as he strode off, most likely to talk to some important official. Draco watched his father walk down the hall to what looked to be a security guard. From where Draco was standing there seemed to be some kind of in depth conversation between them. Draco noticed that when his father was getting frustrated he began to talk with his hands, something his father hadn't yet realized he did. Draco knew that if his father realized what he was doing, he would have stopped immediately, all part of his 'self-control' issues.

After a few short moments of their 'discussion' the security guard reluctantly opened the door he'd been standing outside of andfollowed Lucius inside.

Draco waited impatiently in the eerie empty hallway for several minutes. All he could hear was his own breath which seemed like thunder in the silent hall. Draco suddenly spotted an old looking door at the far end of the hall. A door that he hadn't noticed earlier, as if it suddenly appeared. Draco wanted to open the door, but the words of his father continued to run though his mind. The door however seemed to be calling him. This calling and his curiosity got the better of him and he walked over to the door. As he approached the door, he noticed that it seemed to be old and worn, with what looked to be large claw marks, from some great animal.

Draco grasped the beaten metal handle and opened the door, as the calling suddenly seemed to vanish. As he looked into the giant room, he discovered that this room happened to be one of the courts. Which was odd that one of the counts was located on this floor, a security floor. The room's high dark stone walls were dimly light by an arrangement of torches. In the center of the circular room was a lone chair, assorted with large metal chains. The chains looked ready to grasp and suffocate their prey. Strewn around the sides of the room, creating a semi circle, were lofty, empty chairs--

"_High up so they can look down upon their victims,"_ Draco thought bitterly. He suddenly felt a steel hand grip his upper arm.

"Draco!" His father whispered harshly behind him. Draco whirled around and saw his father glaring at him like an enraged bull. "I thought I told you to stay there" he hissed. Draco didn't even have time to explain himself before the Minister of Magic showed up. Explain that it wasn't his fault.

"Ahhh, Lucius, I was told I could find you here." Stated Cornelius Fudge, the Minster of Magic.

"Yes, Minister, perhaps we should move this conversation to a more- comfortable- setting." Lucius offered, extending his hand in a friendly gesture. After a quick glance at Draco, which didn't go unnoticed by either of them.

"Ahh right, of course, and this must be your son, Draco, I presume?" Fudge inquired upon spotting Draco, causally leaning against the door.

"Yes, this is my son, Draco." Lucius said giving Draco a reprimanding glace with his eyes, berating him for slouching in front of a very influential person. This however, Fudge took no notice of, seeing as he was looking Draco up and down, judging him.

"You must be very proud of him, He looks like a strapping young man."

"Well, we raised him right." Lucius stated with a superior smirk on his face. Fudge then turned to Draco and said.

"You know, you look just like your father."Fudge said happily, as if it were a compliment, just as he walked passed Draco.

_They can't tell me who to be,  
'Cause I'm not what they see._

"Thank you, Minister." Lucius spoke for Draco, as he joined Fudge. Draco turned around and glared at the mens' backs.

'_That's all I've ever been,' _Draco thought_. 'A mirror image of him. I've never been anything more than an object; a trophy, something to show off to the other Wizards, other Death Eaters, proof that his bloodline breeds true.'_

This can't possibly be reality.

_They can't see me,  
But I'm still here. . . _

**

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**

A SPECIAL thanks to everyone who left me a comment they ALWAYS help:o)

now a special little quote by Lucius from the next chapter: A House of Dead Weight !

"Conversing with Mudbloods, shopping in used book stores, Malfoys are better then that." Long, long ago Draco had learned never to expect love or even kindness from his father. They had a mutual understanding of where the lines where drawn, but that was the extent of their love. After all it was just custom, it was just the way things were, and custom was custom, not to be questioned.


	6. ch4 Dead Weight

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. The song lyrics in this chapter are by Simple Plan: Perfect.

**Chapter 4  
****Dead Weight**

'_Home is where the heart is or at least that's how the saying goes...'_

A loud knocking broke though the silence of the deserted hallway.

"Come in." Said a golden haired man from the other side of the door. Draco peered around the door and saw his father sitting at his desk writing what seemed to be a lengthy letter. A black eagle owl was perched on the edge of the desk sitting perfectly still. Almost too still, to the point where it could easily be mistaken for a statue.

"Have a seat, Draco, I will be with you in one moment, as soon as I finish writing this last letter." Lucius Malfoy said, indicated to one of the stiff firm chairs, without looking up from the letter. The ones that make you feel so uncomfortable that when you're being starred down at, you just want to squirm.

Lucius carefully folded his letter and gently placed it in the envelope. It was only then that the owl moved its leg. After having the letter tied with a black ribbon around its leg, It gracefully soared though the open window.

"One day, Draco,**" **Lucius said chuckling to himself. "You'll soon learn that good, honest people are so easy to manipulate." Smiling, he shook his head at someone's stupidity. Draco put on a forced smile, and a small chuckle, thankful that his father couldn't see that it didn't reach his eyes. After a long sigh Lucius spoke again.

"Now let's get to the heart of this matter, The Dark Mark." He said crisply, folding his hands and placing them on his polished desk. "You know how I detest you getting it."

'Of course I know' Draco thought, nodding in response to his father. He didn't want to get it either. This was one of the only things he agreed with his father on. It was a mark of a servant, a slave really, and Draco wasn't willing to be anyone's slave.

"But," Lucius added. "If the outcome of the war isn't decided soon, Voldemort might be recruiting new Death Eaters. I will try and persuade him from recruiting you, but if he has his mind set on it then he will with or without me trying to convince him otherwise. Besides, the sooner the war is over, the sooner we can begin our destiny. The dawning of new age draws closer and with it come a new order and a rising power."His voice getting softer as his eyes began to cloud. "After all the long years we've been in hiding, our wait is over. It's ours... We deserve it" Lucius seemed to no longer be talking to his son anymore. In fact he didn't show that he was aware that Draco was in the room. He was gazing into the fire with a distant look on his face, and whispered "It belongs to us."

'_That was the ultimate future.' _Draco thought bitterly, turning and focusing on the fire as well._ 'That was what father has always wanted me to be, but I have no future. I have **a** future, but it is not mine. It's a future that belongs to every Malfoy ever born: Strive for power. That's my future.'_

Lucius shook his head twice, clearing his thoughts.

"But we must wait, we must be patient." Lucius said drawing Draco out of his ravine. "Once the war is over, the wizarding world will be in shambles, devastated and left in the aftermath. Leaving us free to overtake their weak empire, weather its Voldemort in power or not. It is then that we bring about our uprising, and dominate as a world power. A power so terrible people shrink in fear of it." Lucius shook his head with a smirk on his face, and softly said "People will do anything when they're afraid... The Dark Lord isn't as divine as he thinks, especially against a Malfoy. He might have Slytherin himself, but we come from a line much more ancient and powerful then that."

'_Even Voldemort doesn't know what we are_.' Draco chuckled at this thought. '_Some powerful lord, when your right-hand man could cast you off at his leisure._'

"When we are out in public today," Lucius said changing the subject, after a slight pause in the conversation. "I want you to be on your best behavior. A person in our position in society has duties as well as privileges– he must behave suitably as an example to those below him, for the good of wizarding kind, and this is a responsibility you have so far ignored. How are you ever going to take your proper place in society if you keep shirking your obligations this way? You're supposed to act superior, because we are superior. How do you ever expect people to respect you, if you don't act your status?"

_I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
__I can't stand another **fight  
**__And nothing's alright _

"You're always bleating at me as if I want people bowing and scraping to me all day and looking for new ways to humiliate themselves! Well, maybe I don't! Maybe I don't want a place in your precious society, if to get it I have to stick my nose in the air, act like a prig, and turn into a slavish copy of you."

Lucius leaned across the desk and looked Draco right in the eyes. It was then that Draco knew that he had pushed his father too far.

"So that's what you think, is it?" Lucius said slowly. "Let me tell you this, son, I am no ones slave. I am not owned" He said this softly, but with a force equal to shouting. "I am doing this to help your future, our family's future. The Dark Lord does not own me. I am more powerful then he could ever be. We are more powerful then he could ever be. We are Malfoys, there are no equals to us."

_Now it's just too late and  
__We can't go back  
__I'm sorry I can't be perfect _

The tension in the room grew so thick it became suffocating. It came down to a staring contest between Draco and his father. A contest Draco knew he couldn't win, and so he lowered his eyes.

"Now lets go, or we'll be late once again. "Lucius said, breaking the silence. They stood up simultaneously and Draco followed his father out the door.

"I have a few potion ingredients I need to pick up." Lucius said, speaking as he walked, explaining the sudden trip to Diagon Alley. "I've been feeling rather ragged lately. I know I've been rather lax with you over the summer, and let you get by without taking it, but with you leaving for school tomorrow, you need to be in your best condition. You know the consequences of you not taking it"

Draco simply nodded in agreement, which Lucius was satisfied with. Lucius then reached within his robes and pulled out a elegant gold pocket watch, which he tapped once with his wand.

'_Portus._' Lucius spoke firmly, creating the unauthorized portkey. Draco was used to this, it was the only way for a Malfoy to arrive in style, besides, once you've donated enough money, laws simply become suggestions.

Lucius handed the gold chain to Draco, and suddenly the Malfoy Manor disappeared entirely. After a familiar tug behind his navel and the sound of rushing cold air, Draco felt his feet hit the ground. They had landed in one of the hidden alleyways off of Diagon alley. Lucius then tucked the pocket watch back into his robes and strode off towards the shops, with Draco trailing behind.

The alley was packed with mainly parents and students, picking up last minute items, before the start of the new school year. As they passed by the Apothecary, Draco saw Neville Longbottom and his grandmother, looking at "Everlasting Cauldrons: Able to withstand even the toughest potions!" Draco mentally scoffed, remembering how Longbottom melted his last one during finals. He highly doubted that even those cauldrons could withstand the melting capabilities Longbottom possessed.

Draco tried to keep up with his father, but lost him in the sea of people.

Draco peered though the foggy window of the old shop. This shop seemed to be the only place in Diagon alley that wasn't infected with people. Without bothering to read the sign, Draco pushed open the door and sauntered inside.

It just happened to be a bookshop, but instead of Flursh and Blotts with its freshly pressed books, this was a used bookshop. The smell of the shop reminded him of Hogwarts' library, with its stale air and dried paper. Draco secretly hoped he didn't end up with some disease he was sure the store was harboring. Despite its dingy appearance the store had offered him what he was looking for: An escape.

He started browsing through the nearest bookshelf, and found that most of the titles he had never heard of: _History of the Stars, Wizarding Laws of the 1940's, Brooms and Muggle Flying Machines_.

"_Junk_" Draco muttered to himself, tossing one of the old books aside. A cloud of dust rose as it collided with the shelf.

After covering half the store, Draco figured he had already wasted enough time there and didn't want to stay in the store any longer then was nessassry. He turned around to head out the door when he collided with a hard object.

Draco quickly got up, with an astounding swiftness, and started brushing off all the dust that was starting to settle on him. He stood there watching the brown haired girl begin to get up, without offering her any help. Something about her seemed so familiar to Draco, but he just couldn't put his finger on it.

"Hey! Watch it, would you!" Said the girl, dusting off her pants, still with her back to him. She was on her way to ask him if he needed any help when he window checked her. Draco froze, he could recognized that voice anywhere, it was—

"Granger." He sneered. The girl whirled around.

"_Malfoy_" She said darkly.

"And you know the day started off so well. I guess it does take a mudblood to muddle everything up."

"What are_ you _doing here?" Hermione asked, crossing her arms.

"I would ask you the same question, but then I saw all the books so it makes perfect sense. Its like your own beat up library away from Hogwarts."

"Leave. Now."

"No... I don't think I will." He picked up a nearby book, and after scoffing at it, let it drop back down on the tired shelf. "You know I wouldn't be surprised if you lived here. I mean this place is filth, books and filth, you'd fit right in, wouldn't you." Hermione glared at him and clenched her hands into fists.

"Then what are you doing in a_ used_ book store anyway?" She asked, through gritted teeth.

"Nothing, just getting a good laugh"

"You like to laugh at old books?" she asked dubiously

"No," He shot back. "The fact that people would actually buy them. I mean just look at them"

"Why? What's wrong with them?" she retorted

"They're old and used." He said simply, with a somewhat appalled look at even touching_ it._

"So? Does that make the words inside any different?"

"But still, they're old!"

"Things don't have to be new for you to be able to appreciate them." Draco didn't know how to respond to that, so he lamely retorted: "Why am I even talking to you?"

"Well I, for one, would have to agree with you on that, Draco." Lucius Malfoy said from the doorway

"Father!" Draco said as he turned on his heel to find the voice. "What are you doing here?"

"Well I'm glad, to say the least, that its shocking that I am here, but as for you Draco I simply... stunned." He finished after finding the right word, failing to acknowledge that Hermione was even in the same rom. There was an awkward pause that settled like the dust on the bookshelves.

"Let us continue this conversation at home, before we catch some illness I'm sure is floating somewhere around here. This is a place for a Wealsey... or a mudblood." He added, his eyes flickering to Hermione for the first time. And with that Lucius Malfoy turned on his heal and strode out of the store, his cloak billowing behind him. Draco hesitated for a moment before following his father out the door.

It was a painfully quiet trip back to the manor. The only word spoken between the two of them, was when Lucius created the portkey, that transported them to Lucius' study.

Lucius Malfoy walked over to the stainless fireplace and set his package on the mantle. As clean as it was, it lacked the touch of warmth and life, leaving it cold and bearing. With his fathers back to him, Draco quietly took a seat on the chair in the center of the room.

"I see," Lucius spoke softly, not bothering to turn around and face his son. "What have you to say for yourself?"

Lucius always starts arguments in the middle and expects me to catch up. '_He sees what exactly?_' Draco didn't even know what he was being accused of. '_Except it's always the same thing, isn't it – not being him, not being the kind of son that would be happy to be a mindless little copy of him? A model of exemplary behavior to be held up and shown to every other Wizard who has a son, like a trophy?_'

_Did you know you used to be my hero?  
__All the days you spent with me  
__Now seem so far away  
__And it feels like you don't care anymore _

"Conversing with Mudbloods, shopping in used stores, Malfoy's are better then that." Long, long ago Draco had learned never to expect love or even kindness from his father. They had a mutual understanding of where the lines where drawn, but that was the extent of their love.

"Im trying to understand you Draco! Why do you continue to try and tarnish our proud reputation? Why would you let yourself be seen near a mudblood, let alone speaking to . . . it?" Lucius asked him, in that tone, that same tone his father always used when he asked him a question that he really didn't want an answer for.

_And now I try hard to make it  
__I just want to make you proud  
__I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
__I can't pretend that I'm all right  
__And you can't **change** me _

"You had better mend your ways or you'll be dead weight, Draco, dead weight- and this family has no use, nor need, for dead weight." And like that, the conversation was over. That was just the way things were, and custom was custom, not to be questioned or ignored. And with that Lucius stood up and walked out, leaving Draco all alone in his study. Draco turned around in his chair and looked through the opened doorway.

_I'm sorry __I can't be perfect ..._

'_If home is where the heart is, then this can't possibly be home. No, . . . this **Isn't **home._'


	7. Ch5 Call of Hunger

**Chapter 5  
The Call of Hunger**

The pale moonlight, creeping through the window, cast a squared pattern over the white carpet in the bedroom. Draco Malfoy's bedroom to be exact, who was lazily laying on his bed flipping though his Potions textbook. Although he had been at this for hours, he hadn't retained any of the information he had read. He was simply trying to pass the time and get his mind off of what was awaiting him in the next few minutes at midnight. He knew his father would be up any minute now to finally share with him the last family secret. A secret potion that had been passed down though the Malfoy generations.

The minute hand on the large grandfather clock touched its partner and the clocked chimed, breaking the silence. The bedroom door creaked open, drawing Draco's attention from the clock in the corner to the dark figure standing in the doorway.

"It's time, Draco." Lucius said from the shadows. He strode out the door causing Draco to quickly put down his book and hurry to catch up with his father. Since the location of the dungeon was secret, Draco couldn't afford to get separated from him. Even his mother didn't know its location. The trip took them down several staircases, and two hidden doors. Draco never realized that the manor went down so deep. They continued to walk deeper and deeper down the dungeons that Draco thought that they must near the bottom of the cliff. And if his mind wasn't playing tricks on him, he could almost hear the waves on the rocks.

As they neared the end of the tunnel stood a very large, very old, wooden door, partnered by two torches. This was it. This was the secret dungeon. He was pleased with himself. Somehow during the journey he had managed to memorize the path they took. As they approached the door Draco noticed a penetrating putrid smell underlined with a familiar bittersweet scent.

As he entered the dungeon, Draco was thrown off by how different it was from the rest of the house, or at least the cellars. This was the only room that seemed like it was perfectly preserved for hundreds of years, unlike the cellars which were in total disarray. After all they couldn't have any would be prisoners to enjoy themselves. The dungeon was made up entirely of stone. An iron candle chandler the hung in the middle of the room. There were several floating candles located around the room, but the real light was coming from two slow burning torches that lite a single wall. Engraved in the wall was the Mark of the Malfoy's, below which was the most complicated potion Draco had ever seen. A couple of the ingredients he had seen before: _Powdered horn of a bicorn_, and _shavings from a Golden Unicorn Horn_. Although some of them, including the last two, where ones that he had never seen used in a potion before: _The Last Breath of Death_, and _Blood from a Pure White Dove_.

Draco reread the directions several times in his head.

"But father, Isn't the last breath of death impossible to find. I mean you would have to know exactly-"

"When someone was about to die?" Lucius said finishing his son's sentence. "Yes it is difficult to find, but not impossible. You simply have to know where to find it." He added softly as an after thought. "Or at least know how to make it."

Draco dropped his eyes and allowed them to fall on the potion that the boiling in the center of the room. This was the source of the tainted smell. At his fathers movement Draco turned around and saw him picking up what looked like an empty jar.

"The potion is nearly complete, we simply have to add in the last two ingredients." Lucius said holding up the jar, to show to his son. "This is the Last Breath of Death." At a closer look Draco saw that it in fact was not empty, but was filled with what looked like a thin dark misty substance, barely visible in the dim light.

Lucius walked over to the bubbling potion and uncorked the jar. Using his wand, he transferred the breath to the potion, and then with a stirring motion he mixed them together. If it was at all possible, the potion began to smell even worse. It smelled like rotting death, that Draco felt the urge to hold his breath.

"Now for the final ingredient." Lucius said, apparently unaffected by the stench. Draco took a quick glance up at the wall of directions to see the final ingredient: Blood from a Pure White Dove. After a quick look around the room, Draco noticed that unlike the previous ingredient already set up, he didn't see any vials containing a dove's blood. He was expecting to see vials of blood on one of the other shelves, but there was nothing.

Almost as in response to his unasked question, Lucius waved his wand and conjured a dove out of the air. With swift reflexes he caught the dove as it took flight towards the door. Holding the dove in one hand, Lucius reached for the ancient knife, lying next to the cauldron. With one swift motion Lucius sliced the dove across the chest and turned it so that the blood drained into the cauldron. The potion hissed as the last drops of blood dripped from the tip of the knife into the cauldron. The bittersweet scent filled the room almost coating the putrid smell with false pretenses.

Lucius was staring at the blood on the knife with a strange smile. But it wasn't the smile that sent shivers down Draco's spine, it was the look in his fathers eyes that went with it. Draco couldn't place the expression his father was wearing, but it unnerved him.

"Father," Draco said, after summoning up the courage to draw his father's attention away from the knife. "Why didn't you just conjure up the dove's blood instead of a whole dove?" Lucius smiled down at Draco as one would give an inquiring child.

"Because, Draco, the blood from the dove has an extra element that the other doesn't have: Fear. And fear is the thing that gives us our power... our strength."

There was a silence that set in as the potion began to simmer. Draco was lost in his own thoughts, and he was sure his father had nothing to say, since hardly spoke to each other anymore anyways. The awkward silence between father and son began to grow.

After about fifteen minutes of letting the potion simmer, Lucius selected two of the gold goblets from the shelf. After filling them just below the brim, he handed one of them to his son. Draco took a good long look at the thing he was about to drink. The potion itself was jet black with a blood-red fog coming off of it. He felt his stomach turn upside down as he thought of what his father had said about the dove. He had taken this potion before, but seeing how it was made and what was in it, cured any desire to drink it.

"Draco" Lucius said, dragging Draco out of his ravine, as he put down his empty goblet. "You haven't even touched your drink yet."

Draco raised the goblet to his lips and pretended to take a sip. He noticed that his father was still scrutiny watching him, making sure that he drank it. Summoning up his courage, Draco took a long sip of it, and instantly he thought he was going to gag. The potion felt like ice as it hit the back of his throat, but left a burning sensation like his throat was on fire. Even though he had taken this potion countless times over the last several years, for the first time he had to force himself to drink it. After seeing how the potion was made, watching his father kill the dove, killed his desire for it. This time he could actually taste the extra element in there. The fear tasted like an empty scream being slowly smothered, as the dark venom pulled its way down his throat, coating his insides like poison. It seemed to feel his resistance and, what felt like to him, consciously drive harder. It was as though it had a mind of its own or was at least teaming up with the animal inside him, trying to break him down. He could feel it seeping its way into his bloodstream. The whole time leaving a trail of fire and ice. And then it was over.

Although it couldn't have been more then a minute, the moment felt like forever, until his father was satisfied and turned away to fetch a couple of vials. He had only finished about half of it, and pour the rest of it back into the cauldron while his father's back was turned. He tried to control his urge to gag, it wouldn't due for him to throw it up and have his father make him drink it again.

Lucius bottled up the potion into several tiny vials, and handed a few of them to Draco. "This should last you until the Christmas Holiday, then you can try making the next one." Draco was pretty sure he didn't ever want to take that potion again. "And don't forget, there is a lunar eclipse coming up in a few months. So make sure that you're prepared for it."

With a nod Draco was dismissed. He hurried through the secret passageways back up to his room. After closing his bedroom door, he breathed out a sigh of relief, grateful to just be away from there. His thoughts were everywhere, as he got ready for bed. All he wanted now was for the day to be over. He wanted to escape to a world where reality couldn't touch him. He needed an escape.

Only it was sleep that escaped him. Ever after an hour had passed and Draco was safe in his own bed he was still trapped, by reality, plagued by his thoughts. Although the night was peaceful, the anticipation of something coming had kept him awake. _'It was like a calm before the storm_.' No soon had this thought crossed his mind, he felt a cold wave wash over him. The potion had finally reached his heart. He felt the darkness of the poison start to creep over him as the beast within raged at being trapped within. It was at this moment that he was finally able to understand the look on his father's face. As he stared at the fear filled blood on the knife from the dove he'd just killed. A calling he was suddenly starting to get a thirst for: Hunger.

And it scared him.

* * *

What do you think? please comment :) thanks 


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